Barry Goldberg Evolves into Mewtwo
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: The legacy of Big Tasty


It was February 6, 1980-something and Barry dashed inside and slammed the door behind him in a frenzy. He made his way to the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear. "Attention, family unit! I have some astounding news that you're never going to believe until you hear it!"

Murray groaned and put down his paper. Whatever was coming next, he was sure is was going to be moronic.

"I have decided to become the most powerful being in the universe!" Barry announced cheerfully. He then began to levitate and his eyes flared a deep crimson. His hands emanated ethereal aura. Earthquakes and volcanic eruptions went off all throughout the earth.

Pops slapped the table with glee. "Good for you, kiddo! This is a breakthrough!" he cheered.

"Thank you, kind grandfather. Now I shall be off to Mars to claim my destiny," Barry said, ready to take off.

"Oh no you don't, Mr. Man!" Beverly said sternly as she marched over to her all-powerful son. "No one under this roof is heading off on interplanetary journeys without the correct arsenal."

"Mom, I'm all right. You don't have to worry about me anymore," Barry said as he shed his skin and donned his new Mewtwo form. His tail was red instead and he retained his curly hair. "I'm Mewtwo now, so I don't need to stock up on equipment. I'll just use my psychic powers."

"How does someone without a brain get psychic powers?" growled Murray.

"I inherited them from the spirit of my beloved mentor, Boy Chuck T Bueller."

"Who!?"

"The divine combination of Boy George, Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Ferris Bueller, who else?"

"Well, as much as I am so proud that one of my schmoopies has achieved legendary status and is off to liberate the galaxy from chaos, I can't just let you leave without your Mom Bomb," said Beverly.

"What's a Mom Bomb?" asked Barry.

"Oh no… she played the Mom Bomb card…" sighed Murray.

"What's going on?"

"You can't play the Mom Bomb card, Bev," said Pops.

"Indeed I can," said Beverly.

"HEY! What's the Mom Bomb!?" shouted Barry.

"The Mom Bomb is a collection of all the tools you need to make the most out of your intergalactic escapades. That includes, the Love Laser, the Huggy Buggy, the Smoochy Smasher, the Blade of Bonding, the Armor of Snuggies, and my personal favourite…" Beverly laughed and then whispered. "The Bevy Beam!"

"Ew!" cried Barry. "I can't have you smothering my amazing legacy of absolute coolness with your Bevy Beam!"

"The Bevy Beam doesn't smother! It shoots love into the hearts of Martian soldiers who went down the wrong path because their mothers died trying to find them moon cheese!"

"I don't care! I don't want my mom coming with me into space. I want to go solo!" cried Barry.

"Mrs. Solo let her son Han go solo and do you know what happened? He was almost crushed to death in a trash compactor! What kind of mother would I be to allow my own Squishy to risk getting even squishier?"

"I'm not having this conversation!" roared Barry. He then rocketed into the sky and flew into space.

"Murray, do something!" cried Beverly.

Murray sighed. "Okay, I'll get the moron back…" Murray then took off his pants, revealing his jetpack tighty-whities. He flew after Barry and used his plasma cannons to try to shoot him down.

"No! This is the legacy of Big Tasty!" squealed Barry. He charged up his Shadow Ball and fired at Murray.

"You're making a big mistake, moron!"

"The hero never makes mistakes, only fixes them!"

The two Goldberg warriors landed on Mercury and started battling with their ultimate power. The shockwaves produced by each of their matter-destroying punches caused the planet to split in two.

Meanwhile, Beverly and Pops were worried about Barry and were trying to come up with a way to get through to him.

Pops snapped his fingers. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we use the Lightspeed Dash?"

"What good will that do?" said Beverly.

"It's lightspeed! We'll be on Mercury in a flash."

"Dad, you haven't used the lightspeed dash since before Adam was born."

"I know, but I think I still have it in me!" Pops then stood up and put on his white gloves. He slipped on his Power Sneakers and took his wig off, revealing his blue spiky hair. "Aw yeah, this is happenin'!"

That's right, my grandfather wasn't just the coolest guy around, he was also the fastest thing alive. Not many people knew this, but old Albert Solomon was actually the one and only Sonic The Hedgehog.

"Ready to roll, Bev?" Pops said as he charged up his Lightspeed Dash. Beverly jumped aboard and Pops blasted through with Sonic Speed!

They landed on Mercury and Beverly gasped when she saw Murray charging up the MoronBoron-Ha. Murray fired and Barry took the hit hard. He was almost torn to pieces, but the glorious tenacity of his fighting spirit pulled him through.

"How are you still standing!?" roared Murray as he thought about how hungry he was.

"You can't defeat me, Father," said Barry with his eyes glowing.

"How? He's just one boy!" cried Beverly in disbelief. "One beautiful, delicious baby boy!"

"Aha! But I am not alone! Fighting alongside me are the Legendary Giants of Termina, the JTP!"

"JTP!" cried the JTP as they arose from the four corners of Mercury and picked up the moon.

It was now the dawn of the final day.

"Now I will use my Holy Laser!" cried Barry as he focused his energy.

Murray was too tired to go on. He needed his chair, some food, and the television. "MORON!" he wailed.

"Pops, we need to save Barry!" cried Beverly.

"Save Barry? Are you nuts? Murray's the one that needs saving!" said Pops.

"No, the only way to resolve this issue is to save Barry from himself." Beverly walked sternly to the centre of the battlefield. She stood between her husband and eldest son.

"Are you insane?" cried Murray.

"Mom! Get out of the way! My Holy Laser has to smite Dad, not you!" whined Barry.

"Barry, firing that laser won't solve anything," said Beverly as she tossed her hair back. "All your father and I wanted was to help you by giving you our love, but you won't even accept that! If you can't come to terms with that… then…"

The ground started to shake, Beverly's already-gold hair got even golder. Her eyes turned green and she lunged toward Barry with her awesome might. "Now feel the full power of my Bevy Beam!"

Just then, Barry took in all of our mom's love in one explosive burst. That's when it finally clicked! Our mom wasn't trying to smother us, she was just trying to protect us from becoming something we hate.

Barry fell to the ground defeated.

"Remember, Schmoo, with great power comes great responsibility," Beverly reverted back to her standard form and Pops flew everyone back to Earth after he found all of Mercury's Chaos Emeralds.

"Wow, I'm sorry I went ballistic and almost destroyed our family," Barry said remorsefully.

"No, problem, kid," said Murray grinning. "Now let's get something to eat. I'm starving!"

"Just in time!" sang Beverly. "The lasagna just finished!"

"I love lasagna!" cried Barry.

That's the thing about family. Even when you transform into a galactic warlord, there will always be someone there to tell you they care about you. And when that happens, you feel even stronger than you did on your own.

 **DEDICATED TO THE TIME MY BROTHER TRANSFORMED INTO MEWTWO**


End file.
